Top Cheffage      11/20/2008  

Jill Snyder is Basically OK With the Way Things Went Down

It was a dark moment for the Feedbag when Jill Snyder, our annointed favorite and current Top Chef crush, went down for the count in week two last night. The Feedbag liked her so much that we even put her audition video up the other day. And now she’s gone. We had a short but memorable conversation with the departed Jill, and here is the gist of it.

Jill, you can imagine my disappointment when you were ejected from Top Chef. I was looking forward to watching you all season!

I know! Right?

I even put up your audition video on The Feedbag, such was my admiration for you.

Nice!

It seems really unfair that you got the mitten for a mediocre quiche, when Ariane’s dessert was so bad that Padma literally spit it out. Did anyone ever articulate to you why it was you and not her?

I guess it was not arguing enough that hurt me a little bit. They rip every part of your dish apart and then they’re like, “defend it!” I thought of good things to say only after I was walking away.

L’esprit d’escalier.

Yeah, right.

It was so manifestly obvious that Ariane should have lost that she was reduced to sobs of remorse. Did you say something nice to her?

Stop crying! I should be the one crying!

Jill, normally nobody remembers the person ejected in week two, but given how beautiful and statuesque and lively you are, you’re bound to be back on TV soon, right?

I don’t know. Maybe! It would be better if it was an acting part or something. You really have to think on the spot! I’ll go back to cooking in Maryland for a while, I guess.

Well, at least you will have the consolation of knowing that you have now displaced Rolling Rock as my favorite product of Latrobe, Pennsylvania.

Nice!

Comments

5 Responses to “Jill Snyder is Basically OK With the Way Things Went Down”

  1. DocChuck on November 20th, 2008 1:12 pm

    WOW! I have never watched “Top Chef”, and probably never will.

    But this lady, Jill, could burn my bison burger or fillet, and I would NEVER complain!

    Good post.

  2. Anonymous on November 20th, 2008 3:33 pm

    I hope this was a phone interview so she didn’t have to see you masterbaiting while speaking w/ her. Get a grip!

  3. DocChuck on November 20th, 2008 4:42 pm

    WHOA, Ms. Anonymous!

    Now, even a feminist knows that Mr. Josh Ozersky does not masterbait.

    Why, pshaw, I doubt that he has ever even been on a fishing charter boat (that’s where a masterbaiter puts the chum - that’s bait - on the hook to catch the fish who can’t keep it’s fucking mouth shut).

    Now, if you are talking about “masturbating” . . . that’s a totally different ballgame.

    And, when I was studying psychology, I was taught that 96% of men masturbate, and that 87% of women (even feminists and lesbians) masturbate.

    So, maybe you might want to ease up on Josh a bit.

    I mean, that Jill chick IS pretty hot, after all, even if she can’t cook (like most women) … LOL!

    DocChuck

  4. jc on November 20th, 2008 7:11 pm

    I too thought Ariane would be the one to go, and was a little surprised. When I started to think about it, though, I remembered disastrous and atrocious Quick-Fire dish, the store-bought hot dog wrapped in rice paper. Her explanation for that was that she didn’t feel she had the time to actually make a hot dog, which all the other chefs did.
    Then, her explanation for her quiche included a story about not having enough time, etcetera. So, I think the judges took the overall experience into consideration.
    As far as Padma spitting out Ariane’s dessert, I suppose she was outvoted. Tom Colicchio, especially, does not like the kind of poor defense and bad explanations that Jill was giving.

  5. grewish on November 21st, 2008 2:56 pm

    hahah masterbaiting that was funny one buddy…josh masterbates along side the entire world it is what keeps human society sane as for dinosaur eggs im not sure what the hell she was thinking, sorry josh maybe a better crush would have been fabio…lol

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